It's funny in life how things change.   One day, everything seems to be going according to plan.   The next, it's like trying to drive a ship through a hurricane.

I am not a good captain.   My ship is in the middle of a hurricane and I don't know how to right it. I don't even know how to ask to help. I make more mistakes than I do things right. Sometimes, I wonder what is wrong with me.

There has to be an end to the hurricane... but what will I find when I get there?   Peace?  Pain?  Love?  Hurt?  I just don't know.  I know what I want to find... but will I ever find it?  I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have my doubts. I have the feeling that it'll be just like every other time, I find that which I did not want to find.

I often wished that life were more simple, like me.  And that in school, they'd hand out a "Guide to Life" pamphlet, then maybe I wouldn't be so lost all of the time.   How can such a smart guy like me be so dumb and ignorant?

I guess that's enough self-loathing for one day.   It's time for me to head back to Georgia and prepare my house for the next phase of my life...selling my house.